Sunday, January 11, 2009
Boo Classes!
I don't want break to be over and classes to start! My break was just starting to get good. Stupid college...
Monday, January 5, 2009
Cha-Cha-Changes
It's the same old drama. The same as it is everyday. All I want right now is change. I want to change the drama, make it go away, I want to change people and their lives, and most of all, I want to change myself.
My first step to change was my hair. I got it cut a bit different and had it colored red. It was a good, subtle change and I love it. But there is so much that I want to change. I want to shift my emotions, make the ones I currently feel not exist, and have happier ones. Sometimes, it would just be easier not to feel anything, and sometimes I wish I didn't. I don't know how to go about this change and move on with my life.
In the thoughts of changing my life, more permanent ones come to mind. I have the thought about getting a tattoo, which I never thought that I would want. Maybe it's just teenage rebellion, coming a bit late.
In the terms of psychology, maybe I'm just transferring my feelings into something physical, something that I can easily change. And maybe I'm just being irrational, thinking that by changing things physically, I can change who I am, and no longer feel what I do. But then, my sister-in-law told me not to use psychology on myself, that it never turns out well. I suppose that she is right, but it's hard not to do. It's hard not to analyze my thoughts and feelings in terms of psychology, because while I do not know much of it, it's all I know.
My sister calls me an emo girl, mainly as a joke. But like she always says, theres a bit of truth in everything. Maybe I am. But so what? That's me. People act like being emo is a bad thing, but as far as I can see, its only bad if it is to the extent of destruction. Someone a bit ago told me that my Twitter account is emo. And I suppose that this blog is also. Maybe these things are, but their truthful. Way more truthful that I could ever verbally say to someone.
My first step to change was my hair. I got it cut a bit different and had it colored red. It was a good, subtle change and I love it. But there is so much that I want to change. I want to shift my emotions, make the ones I currently feel not exist, and have happier ones. Sometimes, it would just be easier not to feel anything, and sometimes I wish I didn't. I don't know how to go about this change and move on with my life.
In the thoughts of changing my life, more permanent ones come to mind. I have the thought about getting a tattoo, which I never thought that I would want. Maybe it's just teenage rebellion, coming a bit late.
In the terms of psychology, maybe I'm just transferring my feelings into something physical, something that I can easily change. And maybe I'm just being irrational, thinking that by changing things physically, I can change who I am, and no longer feel what I do. But then, my sister-in-law told me not to use psychology on myself, that it never turns out well. I suppose that she is right, but it's hard not to do. It's hard not to analyze my thoughts and feelings in terms of psychology, because while I do not know much of it, it's all I know.
My sister calls me an emo girl, mainly as a joke. But like she always says, theres a bit of truth in everything. Maybe I am. But so what? That's me. People act like being emo is a bad thing, but as far as I can see, its only bad if it is to the extent of destruction. Someone a bit ago told me that my Twitter account is emo. And I suppose that this blog is also. Maybe these things are, but their truthful. Way more truthful that I could ever verbally say to someone.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Boring Break
I have spent two days straight, in bed, watching chick flicks. And it's killing me! I have nothing to do and it's driving me crazy! And the chick flicks don't have the same effect that they used to have on me. They used to cause warm, fuzzy feelings. Now they just cause awareness of loneliness. But whatever. They're still good. But yep, that's been my last couple of days. It's sad but truthful. :(
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