Cha-Cha-Changes

It's the same old drama. The same as it is everyday. All I want right now is change. I want to change the drama, make it go away, I want to change people and their lives, and most of all, I want to change myself.

My first step to change was my hair. I got it cut a bit different and had it colored red. It was a good, subtle change and I love it. But there is so much that I want to change. I want to shift my emotions, make the ones I currently feel not exist, and have happier ones. Sometimes, it would just be easier not to feel anything, and sometimes I wish I didn't. I don't know how to go about this change and move on with my life.

In the thoughts of changing my life, more permanent ones come to mind. I have the thought about getting a tattoo, which I never thought that I would want. Maybe it's just teenage rebellion, coming a bit late.

In the terms of psychology, maybe I'm just transferring my feelings into something physical, something that I can easily change. And maybe I'm just being irrational, thinking that by changing things physically, I can change who I am, and no longer feel what I do. But then, my sister-in-law told me not to use psychology on myself, that it never turns out well. I suppose that she is right, but it's hard not to do. It's hard not to analyze my thoughts and feelings in terms of psychology, because while I do not know much of it, it's all I know.

My sister calls me an emo girl, mainly as a joke. But like she always says, theres a bit of truth in everything. Maybe I am. But so what? That's me. People act like being emo is a bad thing, but as far as I can see, its only bad if it is to the extent of destruction. Someone a bit ago told me that my Twitter account is emo. And I suppose that this blog is also. Maybe these things are, but their truthful. Way more truthful that I could ever verbally say to someone.